Dearest internet friends,

Huge thanks to everyone who completed the Pool Temp Check in last week's issue. We'll share the results with everyone who participated soon.

Your thoughts gave us crystal clear feedback on how to build a 10x better internet club, and a much stronger sense of what to build next that'll truly resonate.

We'll begin rolling out something new in the coming weeks & months. Stay tuned.

Much love,
Marty

Finding calm in chaos

I’ve been trying really hard recently to slow down and make my life feel less chaotic. The chaos I’m referring to, of course, is the everyday chaos. The stuff that feels like static noise. Unanswered emails. Juggling tasks. The pressure to be available to everyone at any moment of the day. While there’s a lot of chaos we can’t control, I found that my life got 10x better when I decided to pacify the chaos I can. Here’s what I’ve discovered works.

Setting expectations

Become known as the person who doesn’t reply within the hour, or the day. And don’t feel the need to over-apologise for it. Typically, people believe something’s off when you deviate from your usual behaviour. But if you’re the type of person who takes their time to respond, it won’t phase them. This takes the pressure off to be always available. And your family won’t think you’ve been kidnapped if you leave your phone at home while you go offline at the beach for the afternoon.

Gentler mornings

Don’t look at your phone in the morning. Wake up, go for a shower, read a book, have your breakfast. Instead of your mood being set by whatever you see on your phone the minute you wake up (a stressful email, a photo of a friend drinking rosé on the beach in the Bahamas while you’re at home in the pissing rain, a news alert for some catastrophic event) - you naturally just come into your own mood. And for me, it’s usually a pretty good one after I’ve had my coffee/swim/journal routine in the morning. I’ve started setting my alarm earlier just to have more of that free pre-phone/laptop time to myself. There’s something really liberating about being completely in control of your own mood as you’re starting your day instead of letting someone/something else set it for you.

Plan for calm

Too many times, I’ve found myself in the situation where I’ve said yes to an overwhelming number of events, calls, social and work commitments within the space of two weeks, and only have myself to blame. Being borderline obsessed with your calendar is the best way to avoid this. Now, having learned my lesson the hard way, I can spot when chaos is coming, and adjust my plans accordingly. I’ll take it easy with meetings that week, or drop in some ‘nothing’ days so I can work on what really matters - or just do enjoyable things that make me feel calm. Even if there’s an ultra-busy time ahead, I feel better prepared to handle it.

Quality over chaos

Set time to do things in a more intentional, calm way. So, instead of always having your inbox open - if it’s feasible where you work - try to look at your emails 1-2 times a day. And turn off as many notifications as you can. Life’s going to be chaotic if you’re always being pulled in different directions, but this small change means you’ll feel much more in control of your life vs. others controlling you (via notifications).

Think about how many pieces of information we’re having to process every hour compared to our ancestors. If you want your brain to work better, and feel more at ease, try to reduce the amount of data you’re being fed in any given hour. Maybe watching 35 emotionally charged TikToks across 30 topics before breakfast isn’t the best fuel for your mind.

Try to reduce chaos in your relationships too. So many of us keep in touch with quick DMs sent in the middle of other tasks, but rarely get the chance to have an actual conversation. I live pretty far from my closest friends, so we tend to arrange long catch-up calls or hit each other with podcast-length voice notes every week or two. Alyssa and I have started blocking out specific days of the week just to hang and be together, very much inspired by Netflix co-founder Marc Randolph’s commitment to date night.

Hot Hyperlinks

☼ Proof that anyone can change how things are typically done. This musician, Ben, composed an exclusive track for The Modern House, and performed it in a video to sell his incredible mid-century home in Cornwall. 

☼ Today on our ultra-niche brand radar - Walden. They make beautiful tools for meditation and stillness. 

☼ A great place to lounge: The earth-covered ‘hobbit houses’ in Moldova’s first wake park on the tranquil lakeside shores of Pănăseşti. 

☼ On my reading list, the new book by artist and New York Times bestselling author Sally Mann about the challenges and pleasures of the creative process.

☼ Can’t get enough of Tina Bobbe’s stone drip coffee maker. Tina's Instagram is a great follow too.

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